I am thrilled to welcome my first-ever guest writer, my incredible husband, Jonathan. What a blessed woman am I to have the privilege of sharing this journey with him. He is a wonderful example and leader to his family and to those around him. He's also a fabulous missionary, and teaches me each day to take a step back, look at the bigger picture, love life in Niger, and always be ready to laugh and find joy, even when things are difficult.
Be blessed, and enjoy! - Dani
36 Random Things I have Learned Over the Past Three Years as a Missionary in Niger.
(This knowledge did not come
from a textbook, but from actual experience, which is a fancy way of
saying that I first did it wrong before I got it right.)
- by Jonathan Bowden -
1. How to slice a
mango properly - note first that there is a gigantic seed in the middle. Mangoes are not meant to be cut in half like
an apple. Mangoes are not cut, they are sliced.
You cannot cut through the seed of a mango without risking cutting off a
finger. Slice around the seed.
2. It is culturally taboo to ever walk on a mat without
first taking your sandals off. Treat
mats like couches. Never, ever, even
THINK about walking onto a mat with sandals on, especially a mat lying on the ground
outside. Even if you have to walk into
the middle of the road with traffic, never walk onto a mat without first taking
off your sandals – NEVER!
3. If you live in a 110-120 degree average-outside temperature
nation, and you are used to living in a 20-70 degree average-outside temperature
nation, you might want to drink a little bit more to replace lost body fluids
(due to extensive, massive amounts of sweating even while only sitting). Don’t try to “man it up” and only drink a
couple of times during the day – dehydration is NOT a fun thing to experience
from simply not drinking enough water.
4. IF you don’t drink enough, be married to a nurse who
can make hydration drink while you are in a comatose state using a 1 liter
glass bottle and mixing some sugar and salt together in the correct
formula. After drinking this “magical”
formula, you will experience incredible relief after approximately only 30-55
minutes after drinking 1 liter. (How do I know that? One word: Experience.)
5. Always greet everyone you see. I didn’t say everyone that you know but everyone that you see. And
don’t say “how ya doin'?” and keep walking.
Make eye contact. Smile big and
say “Good morning!”, “Did you sleep well last night?”, “How is your family
doing?”, “How are your children doing”,
“Are you healthy?”, “How is work going today?”, “Are you tired?”, “How is the
heat today?”, “What is your name?”
These are the MINIMUM greetings to use when meeting anyone at anytime
anywhere. For friends, it is recommended
that you add a few extra greetings to that list especially if it has over a day since you saw them last.
Remember, to not acknowledge someone by stopping and greeting is
considered extremely rude and will be remembered. Always stop, meet, and greet!
6. Don’t ever refuse a drink or food from someone if they
offer it to you. Even if the water comes
from a village well and is loaded with amoebas.
Always accept the hospitality of the people you are visiting with. You can always take Flagyl or some
other type of “digestive cleaning” medicine later on, but you sometimes only
have one chance to receive the love from people who are trying to give you the
best that they have. You show that you
accept them when you receive their food and drink – no matter what kind. Period.
7. In the rainy season when there is a thunder storm,
unplug your router and computer. Many
houses overseas do not have lighting rods installed on top of them, and it is
very likely that lighting will strike the house at some point. We have lost at least one router and some
wire due to a lighting strike. Costly
mistake, and the burning smell was not pleasant.
8. Always have a spare tire. If able, it is best to have a spare for your
spare. AAA services do not extend to
outside the US.
9. Pray in the Spirit frequently while driving. This will help calm you down as the
driver. Someday they will come out with
a video game of driving in Africa. Until
then, imagine a one-way road with four-way traffic. Traffic coming from behind you, toward you,
and from both sides of you while trying to maneuver around a hole in front of
you, animals next to you and children crossing the road ahead of you. Crazy = Fun = Incredible adrenaline
rush.
10. Do not leave the road unless absolutely necessary. Thorn trees are everywhere, and thorns like
to puncture tires. Punctured tires like
to become flat tires. Flat tires take
your spare tires (remember, no AAA).
11. When trying to
find a “bush stop” (no public restrooms next to the roads here!) try to find a
place that is:
a. Remote
b. Has bushes
c. But doesn’t have thorns (remember, thorns like tires…)
d. No animals (animals mean shepherds, shepherds mean people with nothing to do but watch their herd and to watch you...)
e. Did I already mention remote?a. Remote
b. Has bushes
c. But doesn’t have thorns (remember, thorns like tires…)
d. No animals (animals mean shepherds, shepherds mean people with nothing to do but watch their herd and to watch you...)
12. Always find shade to stand or sit under. It is also a good idea to remember to park your vehicle under a shady
area. Car batteries do not like extreme
heat.
13. Have patience. It is a fruit of the Spirit that you might
need most. When you go to the market,
have patience. Stop, meet, and
greet. When you go to the bank, have
patience. The thirty or forty people
ahead of you have nothing to do all day but be at the bank. Be prepared to
meet them all, greet them all, and to spend most of the day with them. If you spend less than an hour at the bank
waiting, that is extremely fast. Use that
time wisely by greeting and making relationships that can have eternal
consequences. America is a production-oriented society. Most other countries
are relationally-oriented. If you want
to make a difference in another country, you must be relationally-oriented.
14. Have fun.
Breathe in the smells (or at least most of them) and take in the sights and sounds of a
different country - one that the Lord, in His infinite wisdom, created, and realizing that
ALL of creation is His creation that He has made.
15. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Be prepared to laugh with others at yourself as
you make many mistakes trying to learn a new language and culture. Laughing takes the pressure off and helps
form relationships. Some of the deepest
relationships are formed from the times that we are at our weakest point and
need the help of others. Be willing to
need help. Be willing to ask for help. Always show your appreciation for the help
people give – never take someone trying to help you for granted.
16.
Don’t try to meet every need that you see
around you. Ask for Father’s help to
know what He is doing and what He wants you to do for that day. Trying to meet every need will lead to
burnout. Trying to do what you see the
Father do will lead to fruitfulness.
Remember, Jesus didn’t live each day to meet needs – He lived to do the
will of His Father.
17.
Learn how to take a "bucket bath" with only
two or three small scoops of water. It’s
okay, soap dries, too.
18.
Many places only sell one color of paint –
white. Learn how to mix color pigments
together to make different colors when painting a room for your children. Remember, blue and red make purple!
19.
Learn how to make “homemade” oil paint. Simply go to the gas station, pump some
diesel into a jug, and mix a little in with the regular white water - based paint. Voila! You have made oil paint. When your children touch the walls and make smears, wiping the walls off will be a cinch!
20. Put towels on the floor at night underneath
the doors to your bedrooms to hinder traffic.
What kind of traffic?
Cockroaches. There is nothing quite
like the feeling of waking up in the wee hours of the morning with a cockroach
crawling over you!
21. Always do devotions in the morning. Life has a way of filling up quickly even if
the schedule is clear – and many times you can be thrown into needing to make
decisions in a life or death situation without warning. Make sure that your heart and mind are focused
on the Lord, and that you have received His grace for the day before starting
it.
22. Learn how to kill termites. Or how to only have furniture made out of
iron in your house. Those are the only
two options.
23.
When driving through a large mud puddle, aim
for the middle. Typically the edges of
the road are the places that are dangerous to drive, so aim right at the center
of the hole and drive right in!
24.
Learn how to make mango shakes. Lots of them.
25.
When a sandstorm comes during the harmattan
season, learn to always leave windows and doors closed in your house. A sandstorm can bring in over a half an inch
of sand that covers everything in your house in only one hour. How do you think we found this out?
26.
Find something to do for recreation. For some, it is a sport. I enjoy carpentry. Find a project and do it – it will help
decrease stress and also give some time to enjoy life. You do want to enjoy your life. Find some things that you enjoy doing, and do
them! That will keep you enjoying the
other areas of your life as well.
27.
Padlocks are used to lock doors overseas. Always remember to bring the key with you after
“locking” your house. If not, try to
remember to keep a hack saw outside the house.
You just might need it! J
28.
Sunglasses are awesome. Never drive anywhere without them. They will save your eyes. Always have a spare – sunglasses seem to go
missing or break very easily.
29.
Always barter in the market. Don’t take the first price for anything. The first price is typically twice the worth
of the item, but that leaves room for bargaining – and people love to
bargain! I think that some people sell
things in the market just so that they get a chance to barter. Try to enjoy bargaining as well – remember,
bargaining also builds relationship with the person. Just don’t be too stingy – a couple of rounds
of bartering is sufficient. The other
person probably needs the money more than you do.
30.
After buying fresh fruit or vegetables in the
market, soak them in water and a touch of bleach for about 15
minutes. This will kill all of the
“extra” terrestrial things that came with your fresh produce. Bleach is your best friend. Mix a little in water when mopping the floors of
your home to kill parasites, mix a little in water when washing dishes, and mix a little in
your outside water reservoir that holds water for your house to keep algae from growing. Basically, whenever you are cleaning anything
with water, mix in a little bleach!
31. Unplug electrical appliances when electricity
is low (multiple times a day). Low
electricity will cause an appliance to break.
The other option is to put your kitchen appliances on a
stabilizer/regulator.
32.
Always plug your fridge and freezer into
regulators. These large items are too
costly to replace, and just losing the power once can ruin their engines. Don’t risk it.
33.
Learn how to wash clothes by hand. There are times that you will need to know
this. Or be married to someone who loves
to wash clothes by hand – that is also an option.
34.
Learn how to use Skype on the computer. This is the only free and convenient way
of staying in contact with friends and family in the States. Also, learn how to teach your friends and
family how to use Skype. Skype takes
two! When Skyping, learn to recognize when the
screen freezes and stop talking. That
way you don’t have to remember what you just said, and can just keep talking when it unfreezes.
35. Always have a hankie with you, especially when
preaching. There is a big difference
between knowing that you are
sweating, and everyone seeing you
sweating.
36.
Always keep learning. Everyday, keep learning. Learn more from the Lord, learn more from the
people around you. And love the
learning. And love the Lord. And love the people.
To be continued... (after some more “experience”)
